The Debriefing
Sometimes after we have to correct our children by means of enforcing a conflict or consequence, things can remain tense and feel unfinished. Last week's lesson dealt with what the authors call a 'debriefing'. This is simply coming back together with your child and wrapping up the situation so that things feel right between the two of you and no loose ends go untied. It's also a time to make sure that your child "got it".
Basically, we want to make sure that sincere apologies are given. If the child needs to make things right with you or someone else in the family, this should be done. And don't forget that sometimes we blow it, lose our temper or just don't handle things properly. This is a great time to confess to your child that you've failed and to ask them for forgiveness.
In addition, here are three suggested questions and one statement to use in the debriefing time. This doesn't have to be this scripted (especially for older children) but you can use it as a framework to really drive home the issue that you were addressing:
Question #1: What did you do wrong?
We want to encourage our children to own up to their own mistakes and sins. We are often quick to point out what the other person did wrong but it is essential that we confess our own sins. We are accountable to God for our own behavior and if we can teach our children to focus on that, then we're giving them an important life tool.
Question #2: Why was it wrong?
This takes that first question to a deeper level. Help them to verbalize why what they did was wrong.
Question #3: What are you going to do differently next time?
In my opinion, this is powerful. Chances are, there will be a next time. They need to think ahead and decide how they're going to avoid the same mistake.
Statement: "Go and try again."
Saying this to you child is similar to Jesus telling the adulterous woman, "Go and sin no more." You're telling them that you believe they can get up, dust themselves off and go for it. I think this is such an encouraging statement to speak to our children. Honestly, I haven't had the opportunity (or maybe I haven't taken the opportunity) to try this step but I plan to make this a regular part of my parenting. It's like releasing your child and letting them know the slate is clean... all is forgiven, now let's move on and see you succeed!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
What do I Owe Moses?
15 minutes ago I was asleep.
We're talking mouth open, drool puddling, good sleep.
I like my naps when I'm pregnant but I don't like being interrupted during them. Does that make me particular? I think not.
My children know this.
I've told them this.
But for some reason, one of my girls felt the need to bring me the phone right smack dab in the middle of my bliss.
"They're asking for Dana," she said apologetically.
If they're asking for me by my first name, all that tells me is that it's someone who doesn't know me from Adam. Or Moses.
I think I'd rather be awakened by a good friend. Ugh.
So I answered the phone and a Middle Eastern women named "Daisy Smith" (oh, come on!) began to rattle of her pleasantries to which I replied with a series of grunts.
It was all I could muster.
She finally got to the point and her point was that I owed $733 dollars to whatever company she was representing.
Besides that she woke me up, the problem was that I couldn't make out what company she was talking about.
So I nicely asked her to repeat herself. OK, I may have only muttered, "Huh?" but in either case we went back and forth several times before I finally concluded that she was saying "Veed Dwellers."
In desperation, she spelled the first word... "R-E-E-D."
Reed Dwellers?
Was she serious?
The only Reed Dweller I knew of was Moses- you know the baby in the basket.
And what did I owe him?
Yes, Jesus paid a debt I could not pay... but MOSES?
I mean, I respect the guy and all, but $733? Come on.
It was after I began quoting Bible verses that she felt the need to spell the second word...
"J-E-W-E-L-E-R-S"
Oh, Reed Jewelers.
OK. Remember me? The gal who lived with 6 children in a 690 square foot "cottage" for 10 months so we wouldn't have to borrow any money on our house.
I was awake now.
This lady thinks I owe Reed Jewelers $733.
I quickly took inventory of all the jewelry I own:
~one wedding band that is the equivelent to the True Loves Waits bands that 15 year-olds wear
~one engagement ring that means the world to me but that gets called "cute" by jewelers at the mall when I have asked to have it clean. One even told me it was too small for their ring washing machine.
~One gold/amethyst ring that my oldest sister bought me for my 30th birthday. (It was a very early gift as I'm still far from that milestone).
I turned out that she had the wrong 'Dana' and I had the wrong Reed Dweller.
I missed half a nap for that.
Sorry Moses.
We're talking mouth open, drool puddling, good sleep.
I like my naps when I'm pregnant but I don't like being interrupted during them. Does that make me particular? I think not.
My children know this.
I've told them this.
But for some reason, one of my girls felt the need to bring me the phone right smack dab in the middle of my bliss.
"They're asking for Dana," she said apologetically.
If they're asking for me by my first name, all that tells me is that it's someone who doesn't know me from Adam. Or Moses.
I think I'd rather be awakened by a good friend. Ugh.
So I answered the phone and a Middle Eastern women named "Daisy Smith" (oh, come on!) began to rattle of her pleasantries to which I replied with a series of grunts.
It was all I could muster.
She finally got to the point and her point was that I owed $733 dollars to whatever company she was representing.
Besides that she woke me up, the problem was that I couldn't make out what company she was talking about.
So I nicely asked her to repeat herself. OK, I may have only muttered, "Huh?" but in either case we went back and forth several times before I finally concluded that she was saying "Veed Dwellers."
In desperation, she spelled the first word... "R-E-E-D."
Reed Dwellers?
Was she serious?
The only Reed Dweller I knew of was Moses- you know the baby in the basket.
And what did I owe him?
Yes, Jesus paid a debt I could not pay... but MOSES?
I mean, I respect the guy and all, but $733? Come on.
It was after I began quoting Bible verses that she felt the need to spell the second word...
"J-E-W-E-L-E-R-S"
Oh, Reed Jewelers.
OK. Remember me? The gal who lived with 6 children in a 690 square foot "cottage" for 10 months so we wouldn't have to borrow any money on our house.
I was awake now.
This lady thinks I owe Reed Jewelers $733.
I quickly took inventory of all the jewelry I own:
~one wedding band that is the equivelent to the True Loves Waits bands that 15 year-olds wear
~one engagement ring that means the world to me but that gets called "cute" by jewelers at the mall when I have asked to have it clean. One even told me it was too small for their ring washing machine.
~One gold/amethyst ring that my oldest sister bought me for my 30th birthday. (It was a very early gift as I'm still far from that milestone).
I turned out that she had the wrong 'Dana' and I had the wrong Reed Dweller.
I missed half a nap for that.
Sorry Moses.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Parenting is Heart Work- #3 & #4
Sorry that I'm so behind on summarizing the parenting classes that we're facilitating at church. Among other things, I've spent the last two weeks finishing up my three classes at MSC. This included a paper, a demanding final exam, and a final presentation (that I worked on for three months). Whew- I'm so glad it's done and now I can get caught up on other things like these posts.
Session three was an entire session on one parenting tool that we combined with week #4's class, Parenting Toolbox. It seemed like it was just one idea that fit in with the others and didn't require an entire session so we just put it in with this lesson. I'm going to give a quick summary of each of the tools in the Parenting Toolbox as outlined in this course. Hopefully, you can find a couple that you can use to minimize bad behavior/heart attitude in your children and frustration in your parenting. I would just remind you to use these tools right away when conflict arises. You wouldn't try to drive a nail first with a q-tip, then with a sock, and then, finally, only after you're frustrated with your other attempts, with a hammer. Likewise, don't threaten and yell before reaching for the appropriate tool. This will work to bring peace to your home and your children will respect what you say because they can finally believe that you're going to do what you say.
1. Natural Consequences: Sometimes when our children make a bad choice, their decision is going to bring natural consequences that will teach them without any further consequences from us. Let's use these to come along side and teach our children. You don't have to say, "You sure did get what you deserve. You left your shoes out and the dogs chewed them up just like I said they would!" You could try, "I'm so sorry that happened to your shoes. Why do you think that happened? What can you learn from this?"
2. Logical Consequences: Sometimes we can't wait for the natural consequences to come around so we have to enforce some logically related consequences. For example, if your child leaves his bike outside it's going to rust but that may take a long time... too long for him to learn before it's too late. A natural consequence would be for him to not be allowed to ride his bike for a reasonable amount of time each time he leaves it out. We can get pretty creative with this and our children can learn a lot from such consequences.
3. Spanking: For parents who spank, they often use this as a last resort once they've threatened 22 times, turned blue in the face, and lost all patience with their child. Spankings should not be administered under these circumstances. If you choose to spank, give your child a calm warming and if he doesn't heed it, then administer the spanking in a calm and controlled way. If you are prone to anger, don't spank your child. Get with the Lord and deal with your anger issues before even considering spanking your children. This is where the line is set between beatings/punishment and a lovingly administered tool of correction. Also, as parents we need to agree (before a problem rises) on what our spanking rules will be. For example, Mom and Dad should agree on the wheres, whats, whens, and hows of spankings so that if chosen, they are always done consistently and in a controlled manner. This eliminates the chance of emotions escalating.
4. Restricting Freedom: The authors suggest that when you restrict a child's freedoms you not give a set amount of time before they earn those freedoms back (different from the logical consequences of the bike example). Instead, understand that your child has not proven trustworthy in an area and therefore cannot be trusted in that area until they earn your trust back. Sometimes, this can take a day, sometimes it can take a week or more. We should be looking for a heart change to let us know that it's time to let our children test the waters again. Let them earn their freedoms back.
5. More Parental Control: This is a hard one for parents because it requires a little more from us. If a child cannot play with other children without fighting/screaming, then they can hang out with you until they can be released to try again. For this tool, think of yourself as a Jello mold that holds up the Jello until it's set. It isn't until the Jello is firm that you remove the mold. You may have to sit by the child doing homework or practicing the piano until they can get it set. This is good to use when a child is failing in a certain area.
6. Take a Break: This is different from a time-out in that a child is not sent away for a specific amount of time as punishment. This is used in a child who has the capability of figuring out what change(s) need to be made in their heart attitude and just need a little bit of alone time to make that happen. For a break, a child should be sent to an uncomfortable place (not outside in the cold or anything but it shouldn't be the playroom where they're bound to have fun!) and encouraged to stay there until they've changed their heart. The child initiates when it's time to get up and the parent, after talking to the child who has returned from a break, determines if a real heart change has occurred. If not, back to the break.
7. Other Leaders and Authorities: This isn't a biggy on my list because I know that the responsibility of my children falls on me which is one huge reason why I homeschool. However, there are times when a child has to learn from a grandparent, teacher, or coach whose methods are different from ours. What I found useful in regards to this tool is that we can't rescue our children every time we have an authority figure who doesn't do things the way we do. Help your child through such circumstances and don't run to their rescue every time they have a conflict with someone. I've seen children parented this way and they end up living back with Mom and Dad when they're grown! They've got to learn to stand on their own two feet and get along with/learn from all types of personalities. They also must learn to submit to authority.
8. Practice Doing the Right Thing: This is the positive side of the tool box and please don't underestimate this tool. We must practice those things which we expect from our children. Think of all the things we can be practicing with our children and thus saving the need for conflict later on. Here are some ideas to get you started:
answering the phone
meeting someone new
giving a gentle answer
receiving a compliment
thanking someone
turning off the computer or tv right when they're told
getting out of the pool or off the trampoline the FIRST time
getting ready to go somewhere
leaving from a friend's house without issue
coming inside after playing
receiving correction
doing a job when they're told
The list is endless. Set up times to practice these things and make it fun. Give them lots of hugs and rewards. Make it silly. Do it over and over until they really get it.
I hope this helps. I'll try to post session #5 in a day or two and then we'll be all caught up:)
P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts/comments/additions to this lesson.
Session three was an entire session on one parenting tool that we combined with week #4's class, Parenting Toolbox. It seemed like it was just one idea that fit in with the others and didn't require an entire session so we just put it in with this lesson. I'm going to give a quick summary of each of the tools in the Parenting Toolbox as outlined in this course. Hopefully, you can find a couple that you can use to minimize bad behavior/heart attitude in your children and frustration in your parenting. I would just remind you to use these tools right away when conflict arises. You wouldn't try to drive a nail first with a q-tip, then with a sock, and then, finally, only after you're frustrated with your other attempts, with a hammer. Likewise, don't threaten and yell before reaching for the appropriate tool. This will work to bring peace to your home and your children will respect what you say because they can finally believe that you're going to do what you say.
1. Natural Consequences: Sometimes when our children make a bad choice, their decision is going to bring natural consequences that will teach them without any further consequences from us. Let's use these to come along side and teach our children. You don't have to say, "You sure did get what you deserve. You left your shoes out and the dogs chewed them up just like I said they would!" You could try, "I'm so sorry that happened to your shoes. Why do you think that happened? What can you learn from this?"
2. Logical Consequences: Sometimes we can't wait for the natural consequences to come around so we have to enforce some logically related consequences. For example, if your child leaves his bike outside it's going to rust but that may take a long time... too long for him to learn before it's too late. A natural consequence would be for him to not be allowed to ride his bike for a reasonable amount of time each time he leaves it out. We can get pretty creative with this and our children can learn a lot from such consequences.
3. Spanking: For parents who spank, they often use this as a last resort once they've threatened 22 times, turned blue in the face, and lost all patience with their child. Spankings should not be administered under these circumstances. If you choose to spank, give your child a calm warming and if he doesn't heed it, then administer the spanking in a calm and controlled way. If you are prone to anger, don't spank your child. Get with the Lord and deal with your anger issues before even considering spanking your children. This is where the line is set between beatings/punishment and a lovingly administered tool of correction. Also, as parents we need to agree (before a problem rises) on what our spanking rules will be. For example, Mom and Dad should agree on the wheres, whats, whens, and hows of spankings so that if chosen, they are always done consistently and in a controlled manner. This eliminates the chance of emotions escalating.
4. Restricting Freedom: The authors suggest that when you restrict a child's freedoms you not give a set amount of time before they earn those freedoms back (different from the logical consequences of the bike example). Instead, understand that your child has not proven trustworthy in an area and therefore cannot be trusted in that area until they earn your trust back. Sometimes, this can take a day, sometimes it can take a week or more. We should be looking for a heart change to let us know that it's time to let our children test the waters again. Let them earn their freedoms back.
5. More Parental Control: This is a hard one for parents because it requires a little more from us. If a child cannot play with other children without fighting/screaming, then they can hang out with you until they can be released to try again. For this tool, think of yourself as a Jello mold that holds up the Jello until it's set. It isn't until the Jello is firm that you remove the mold. You may have to sit by the child doing homework or practicing the piano until they can get it set. This is good to use when a child is failing in a certain area.
6. Take a Break: This is different from a time-out in that a child is not sent away for a specific amount of time as punishment. This is used in a child who has the capability of figuring out what change(s) need to be made in their heart attitude and just need a little bit of alone time to make that happen. For a break, a child should be sent to an uncomfortable place (not outside in the cold or anything but it shouldn't be the playroom where they're bound to have fun!) and encouraged to stay there until they've changed their heart. The child initiates when it's time to get up and the parent, after talking to the child who has returned from a break, determines if a real heart change has occurred. If not, back to the break.
7. Other Leaders and Authorities: This isn't a biggy on my list because I know that the responsibility of my children falls on me which is one huge reason why I homeschool. However, there are times when a child has to learn from a grandparent, teacher, or coach whose methods are different from ours. What I found useful in regards to this tool is that we can't rescue our children every time we have an authority figure who doesn't do things the way we do. Help your child through such circumstances and don't run to their rescue every time they have a conflict with someone. I've seen children parented this way and they end up living back with Mom and Dad when they're grown! They've got to learn to stand on their own two feet and get along with/learn from all types of personalities. They also must learn to submit to authority.
8. Practice Doing the Right Thing: This is the positive side of the tool box and please don't underestimate this tool. We must practice those things which we expect from our children. Think of all the things we can be practicing with our children and thus saving the need for conflict later on. Here are some ideas to get you started:
answering the phone
meeting someone new
giving a gentle answer
receiving a compliment
thanking someone
turning off the computer or tv right when they're told
getting out of the pool or off the trampoline the FIRST time
getting ready to go somewhere
leaving from a friend's house without issue
coming inside after playing
receiving correction
doing a job when they're told
The list is endless. Set up times to practice these things and make it fun. Give them lots of hugs and rewards. Make it silly. Do it over and over until they really get it.
I hope this helps. I'll try to post session #5 in a day or two and then we'll be all caught up:)
P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts/comments/additions to this lesson.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Watch Me Grow!
Click here to see how much my baby has grown:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=114665&id=734401918&l=478568ed33
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=114665&id=734401918&l=478568ed33
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Why I Homeschool
If you see this title and are expecting some deep, from the heart, dissertation on the many spiritual, educational, philosophical, and physical reasons that I homeschool, then you've got it wrong. Sure I could go there on a day when my brain isn't fried and I haven't cleaned-up the aftermath of my 2-year-old's curiosity more times than I'd like to admit. Today, I share a reason why I homeschool that is superficial at best:
I would make the worst class mom!
Our 7th grader is attending a one day per week classical academy for homeschoolers and they had a little Thanksgiving feast today. How nice. I originally thought I was going to have to plan the event but after two ER trips (anxiety attacks just from the thought of it) and 23 sessions with a therapists, I found out that I only had to bring turkey for 14 and 20 rolls. Whew! Easy as pie. No easier than pie- no ingredients to forget and nothing to burn, right?
I set about my assignment with enthusiasm and preparedness: I bought the rolls and turkey last week and have been praying over them since. I went with a 12-pounder... half pound of bird per person, right? Or is it a pound per person... hmmmm. As for the rolls, I bought Hawaiian rolls- every one loves those!
Not to brag, but I remembered to put the turkey out in enough time to even thaw it- things were looking great. Yesterday, I got out the bird and even put some stuffing in it. I have cooked many turkeys and could probably do it in my sleep, but that's not recommended in the directions. So the bird got cooked and looked beautiful, if I do say so myself. Meanwhile, I decided to check the e-mail that gave me my assignment just to make sure that I had everything right. I found that I was supposed to have the meat sliced for easy serving. Great, I thought. I could cut enough for the school, keep some for us and we'd even have stuffing. The bonus... we're learning about birds and how their bones are designed for flight so we would even get to keep the bones for observation! Things couldn't look any better.
I was still optimistic when my husband saw the bird and said that it wasn't even big enough for our family, let alone 14 people. I assured him that there would be enough for the school and we'd have some left over for us ( I did this humbly, of course).
Now about the cutting. I went on YouTube and watched every Publix Thanksgiving commercial ever made and observed the knife slicing through the thick juicy breast and watched the picture-perfect slices stack neatly on a well-embellished plate. I let the scenes roll over and over in my head and, just like free-throw shots in high school basketball, I knew the visual practice would make up for never having done this before. Saying I was disappointed would be an understatement and to say that my preparation did nothing to help except to let me down even further would be right on. All I ended up with was a pile of shredded and chunked meat. It turns out there's an art to turkey slicing and the people on the Publix commercials are trained professionals. I'm now starting a petition that would require Publix to put that on their commercials as a disclaimer like car commercials have to do: This is a trained professional. Do not try this at home! OK, so the turkey looked like I ran it through the food processor a few times but what was worse is that there was not nearly enough- for us or the school! I guess it was one pound per person. Perhaps my husband was right.
At this point I decided to fluff the pile and put the rolls in the same pan to add volume to the dish. This would make everyone think I cooked them a 25-pounder for sure. When I got the rolls out, I discovered that someone had already helped themselves to a roll. Yes, a four legged, bald tailed, little field mouse had purged itself on my rolls!! We live out in the woods and have been having a real problem with the little critters lately. Ugh! Now I had too little turkey and no rolls! I began to wonder if it was too late to un-enroll my daughter from the school. Is one day's notice enough?
Fortunately, I was going to town last night and knew I could buy more rolls and get more turkey. I went with brown-and-serve rolls, knowing that I could keep them in the freezer away from my arch enemies, uh, I mean my little furry friends. But the turkey... do you know they all come frozen?!?! This was the night before and I had to have it ready to leave by 8:15 the next morning. Never one to be at a loss for options, I strolled over to the prepared foods/freezer section thinking that I could find some turkey-something there. I mean, don't some people who spend the holiday by themselves just buy cooked frozen turkey and nuke it. Apparently, they only do that when it comes in individual servings and is accompanied by a side of corn and a pile of mashed potatoes and gravy. And of course, they pay $4.99 for this little Turkey Day meal. I actually stood there contemplating buying five of those, nuking them all one at a time, and transferring all the turkey to my dish that was going to school. But for $20, I just couldn't do it. Plus, wouldn't you know, their turkey was perfectly sliced so it would have made my 'blender special' look like a joke.
After a worker there found me curled up in a ball crying because not only was my turkey the only meat assigned to my daughter's class but, come on, this kind of stuff always happens to me, I found myself dazed and confused, standing in front of the prepackaged deli meat section (the real deli was closed because all the good mothers don't wait this late!). And so I did the unthinkable.... I bought three packages of Deli Selects and ran for the check-out before I could talk myself out of such a stupid solution.
So, this morning, I rolled up all those slices of turkey (they wanted it sliced, didn't they?) and placed them solemnly in the pan next to what used to be a turkey. There, I was done with the foul fowl.
I grabbed the rolls, which (pat on the back) were safe from harm's way all night in the freezer and read the directions. Hmmm.... "allow rolls to thaw at room temperature before cooking". Now, why can't they put that kind of dire information in bold print on the front of the package?!! Another petition I'm going to start, for sure! Well, it was only 8:00 and I still had 15 minutes so I put them on 'warm' in the oven for a few minutes and then cranked that baby up to 350 and thanked the Lord that I didn't have to deliver this mess to the school nor did I have to eat it.
After several of my children alerted me that something was burning, I salvages the rolls, prayed a special blessing over whoever had to eat this stuff and sent it on its way.
And that, my dear friends, is why I homeschool.
I would make the worst class mom!
Our 7th grader is attending a one day per week classical academy for homeschoolers and they had a little Thanksgiving feast today. How nice. I originally thought I was going to have to plan the event but after two ER trips (anxiety attacks just from the thought of it) and 23 sessions with a therapists, I found out that I only had to bring turkey for 14 and 20 rolls. Whew! Easy as pie. No easier than pie- no ingredients to forget and nothing to burn, right?
I set about my assignment with enthusiasm and preparedness: I bought the rolls and turkey last week and have been praying over them since. I went with a 12-pounder... half pound of bird per person, right? Or is it a pound per person... hmmmm. As for the rolls, I bought Hawaiian rolls- every one loves those!
Not to brag, but I remembered to put the turkey out in enough time to even thaw it- things were looking great. Yesterday, I got out the bird and even put some stuffing in it. I have cooked many turkeys and could probably do it in my sleep, but that's not recommended in the directions. So the bird got cooked and looked beautiful, if I do say so myself. Meanwhile, I decided to check the e-mail that gave me my assignment just to make sure that I had everything right. I found that I was supposed to have the meat sliced for easy serving. Great, I thought. I could cut enough for the school, keep some for us and we'd even have stuffing. The bonus... we're learning about birds and how their bones are designed for flight so we would even get to keep the bones for observation! Things couldn't look any better.
I was still optimistic when my husband saw the bird and said that it wasn't even big enough for our family, let alone 14 people. I assured him that there would be enough for the school and we'd have some left over for us ( I did this humbly, of course).
Now about the cutting. I went on YouTube and watched every Publix Thanksgiving commercial ever made and observed the knife slicing through the thick juicy breast and watched the picture-perfect slices stack neatly on a well-embellished plate. I let the scenes roll over and over in my head and, just like free-throw shots in high school basketball, I knew the visual practice would make up for never having done this before. Saying I was disappointed would be an understatement and to say that my preparation did nothing to help except to let me down even further would be right on. All I ended up with was a pile of shredded and chunked meat. It turns out there's an art to turkey slicing and the people on the Publix commercials are trained professionals. I'm now starting a petition that would require Publix to put that on their commercials as a disclaimer like car commercials have to do: This is a trained professional. Do not try this at home! OK, so the turkey looked like I ran it through the food processor a few times but what was worse is that there was not nearly enough- for us or the school! I guess it was one pound per person. Perhaps my husband was right.
At this point I decided to fluff the pile and put the rolls in the same pan to add volume to the dish. This would make everyone think I cooked them a 25-pounder for sure. When I got the rolls out, I discovered that someone had already helped themselves to a roll. Yes, a four legged, bald tailed, little field mouse had purged itself on my rolls!! We live out in the woods and have been having a real problem with the little critters lately. Ugh! Now I had too little turkey and no rolls! I began to wonder if it was too late to un-enroll my daughter from the school. Is one day's notice enough?
Fortunately, I was going to town last night and knew I could buy more rolls and get more turkey. I went with brown-and-serve rolls, knowing that I could keep them in the freezer away from my arch enemies, uh, I mean my little furry friends. But the turkey... do you know they all come frozen?!?! This was the night before and I had to have it ready to leave by 8:15 the next morning. Never one to be at a loss for options, I strolled over to the prepared foods/freezer section thinking that I could find some turkey-something there. I mean, don't some people who spend the holiday by themselves just buy cooked frozen turkey and nuke it. Apparently, they only do that when it comes in individual servings and is accompanied by a side of corn and a pile of mashed potatoes and gravy. And of course, they pay $4.99 for this little Turkey Day meal. I actually stood there contemplating buying five of those, nuking them all one at a time, and transferring all the turkey to my dish that was going to school. But for $20, I just couldn't do it. Plus, wouldn't you know, their turkey was perfectly sliced so it would have made my 'blender special' look like a joke.
After a worker there found me curled up in a ball crying because not only was my turkey the only meat assigned to my daughter's class but, come on, this kind of stuff always happens to me, I found myself dazed and confused, standing in front of the prepackaged deli meat section (the real deli was closed because all the good mothers don't wait this late!). And so I did the unthinkable.... I bought three packages of Deli Selects and ran for the check-out before I could talk myself out of such a stupid solution.
So, this morning, I rolled up all those slices of turkey (they wanted it sliced, didn't they?) and placed them solemnly in the pan next to what used to be a turkey. There, I was done with the foul fowl.
I grabbed the rolls, which (pat on the back) were safe from harm's way all night in the freezer and read the directions. Hmmm.... "allow rolls to thaw at room temperature before cooking". Now, why can't they put that kind of dire information in bold print on the front of the package?!! Another petition I'm going to start, for sure! Well, it was only 8:00 and I still had 15 minutes so I put them on 'warm' in the oven for a few minutes and then cranked that baby up to 350 and thanked the Lord that I didn't have to deliver this mess to the school nor did I have to eat it.
After several of my children alerted me that something was burning, I salvages the rolls, prayed a special blessing over whoever had to eat this stuff and sent it on its way.
And that, my dear friends, is why I homeschool.
Our Poor Economy
When I was pumping gas a couple days ago, watching my money fly by, I heard a news update on one of those little gas pump TVs that made me so sad. I heard about this new computer game that did over $310 million dollars in sales in just 24 hours. It was just a harsh reminder of our country's poor economic state. The game cost $60 (!!!!!) which means only 5.2 million people had enough funds to make this necessary purchase. Talk about trying to make ends meet. Granted, the total sales were for the US and the UK but still..... All we hear is how bad our economy and we have millions of people that can throw down 60 bucks on a video game! What's even crazier is that you have to be "of age" to even purchase the game so that means we have that many adults buying the Call of Duty game. Honestly, we should be crying out about the sate of our country's spiritual affairs and stop whining about the economy. Apparently there are still millions who have money to throw around. OK, no offense if you bought this game, really. I am just shocked at the staggering numbers at play here. Millions are out of work and many more are struggling but we still have enough money in our nation to tally $310 mil in only 24 hours... on a video game. Some of us have no idea what suffering or sacrifice is. I should consider though that there may be many out there who wanted to buy two copies of the game but had to forgo the second because things were just too tight. OK, stepping down off my soap box now and certainly not judging you if you bought it. Again, I'm just stunned by the total of it all. Anyone else agree? Or disagree?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Health Care
I was thrilled with the victory we had this week concerning health care and the fact that we wouldn't have to pay for abortions. Now I read that our president (go Change!) is threatening to "strip abortion language" from health care bill. Yes, we live in a free country and everyone is entitled to his/her own opinions and beliefs. But should those if us who support life from conception to the grave and from the deepest part of our beings, really be forced to pay for abortions? How free is that?? Change, Change, Change...
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Parenting is Heart Work: Week 2
I hope last week's post was helpful and that we all saw progress in the areas that needed it. I know we did!
This weeks focus is on the child's heart and what kind of thinking in their hearts is leading to decisions and behaviors that they make. Sometimes children believe some strange things in their hearts and if those beliefs aren't straightened out they can lead to problems later on in life. Issues like rebellion, bad attitudes, and low self-esteem are rooted in the thinking that is taking place in a child's heart (just like adults).
Some children are always processing their thoughts on the inside so it's hard to know what they're thinking. Others tend to show everything they're thinking and feeling so there's not as much guess work involved. In this session parents are urged to take some time, sit back and just watch and listen to your children.
There are many scriptures referencing the heart and heart issues and we all know that only God can change a heart. Perhaps though, as you tune into your child's world, you'll gain some insight and God will want to work that change through you. You are one way that God can change any of your child's faulty thinking. Another way is through the scriptures. God's word is alive and active and can pierce the heart. We must be teaching our children from His Word in order for their hearts to be changed by it. The third way that God can and will change a heart is through prayer. If you notice an area that you think your child is struggling in, take it to the Lord in prayer for some time before trying anything else. God knit your child together and knows his/her inmost thoughts. Surely He can, and will, give some insight to a humble, praying parent.
This lesson really hit home this week. There are certain areas in our oldest children that we can honestly say we don't have their heart on. I guess I never really thought that my children could be processing thoughts that are any different that what we've taught them. I know that sounds naive but I'm just being honest. So when they do things that are contrary to what we've taught them, I'm shocked sometimes and wonder what they were thinking. Well, children don't process things the same way that adults do. They are immature and so their thought processes will often times focus on immature things.
One of our children tends to struggle with laziness and that will often times lead to complaining. I will explain to that child why they need to work hard and why they're expected to do certain jobs and fulfill certain responsibilities and then I think- check- that should take care of it. Of course, it doesn't and the child will sometimes continue to argue their point all while I'm thinking, "You have no point and I just told you why." My eyes are really open to what's going on in that child's heart now and I know that it will take time, commitment, and prayer to change whatever thoughts are leading to this behavior. I'm willing to invest in this because of my love for my child and because I desire more than anything to see my children walking in the truth.
This week, Casey and I spent a lot of time praying for our children and seeking the Lord on the issues they face. What's awesome is that the Lord provided me with several sweet moments in the past few days where I saw my children opening up their little hearts to me. Besides the prayer, I think another reason this happened is because this lesson encouraged me to really listen to them. Usually we're in the middle of cleaning up after dinner or something and one of the kids will start talking about something and I'm just encouraging them to stay on task. I get too busy with the day-to-day tasks that I don't always take the time to listen. This week was so different and, honestly, when they wanted to talk, it was about stuff that I care nothing about (like Webkinz, for example) but I listened and engaged in conversation and before I knew it, they were going deeper. Amazing! One of my daughters even asked my opinion on what she should spend her Webkinz token-thingies on and my initial thought was... I couldn't care less. It's not real money and you're not going to really get anything. It's all virtual!!!!!! At the time I was scrubbing the floor and wished what I was doing was virtual. But somehow, the Lord prompted me to tune into what was important at that moment to my daughter and accept the invitation into her world (virtual and real). It was a sweet time (even though I can't stand Webkinz and make the kids earn every second they spend on there).
I pray that we will continue to tune in and that the Lord will give us insight into our children's hearts so they can grow up to love the Lord with all their hearts!
This weeks focus is on the child's heart and what kind of thinking in their hearts is leading to decisions and behaviors that they make. Sometimes children believe some strange things in their hearts and if those beliefs aren't straightened out they can lead to problems later on in life. Issues like rebellion, bad attitudes, and low self-esteem are rooted in the thinking that is taking place in a child's heart (just like adults).
Some children are always processing their thoughts on the inside so it's hard to know what they're thinking. Others tend to show everything they're thinking and feeling so there's not as much guess work involved. In this session parents are urged to take some time, sit back and just watch and listen to your children.
There are many scriptures referencing the heart and heart issues and we all know that only God can change a heart. Perhaps though, as you tune into your child's world, you'll gain some insight and God will want to work that change through you. You are one way that God can change any of your child's faulty thinking. Another way is through the scriptures. God's word is alive and active and can pierce the heart. We must be teaching our children from His Word in order for their hearts to be changed by it. The third way that God can and will change a heart is through prayer. If you notice an area that you think your child is struggling in, take it to the Lord in prayer for some time before trying anything else. God knit your child together and knows his/her inmost thoughts. Surely He can, and will, give some insight to a humble, praying parent.
This lesson really hit home this week. There are certain areas in our oldest children that we can honestly say we don't have their heart on. I guess I never really thought that my children could be processing thoughts that are any different that what we've taught them. I know that sounds naive but I'm just being honest. So when they do things that are contrary to what we've taught them, I'm shocked sometimes and wonder what they were thinking. Well, children don't process things the same way that adults do. They are immature and so their thought processes will often times focus on immature things.
One of our children tends to struggle with laziness and that will often times lead to complaining. I will explain to that child why they need to work hard and why they're expected to do certain jobs and fulfill certain responsibilities and then I think- check- that should take care of it. Of course, it doesn't and the child will sometimes continue to argue their point all while I'm thinking, "You have no point and I just told you why." My eyes are really open to what's going on in that child's heart now and I know that it will take time, commitment, and prayer to change whatever thoughts are leading to this behavior. I'm willing to invest in this because of my love for my child and because I desire more than anything to see my children walking in the truth.
This week, Casey and I spent a lot of time praying for our children and seeking the Lord on the issues they face. What's awesome is that the Lord provided me with several sweet moments in the past few days where I saw my children opening up their little hearts to me. Besides the prayer, I think another reason this happened is because this lesson encouraged me to really listen to them. Usually we're in the middle of cleaning up after dinner or something and one of the kids will start talking about something and I'm just encouraging them to stay on task. I get too busy with the day-to-day tasks that I don't always take the time to listen. This week was so different and, honestly, when they wanted to talk, it was about stuff that I care nothing about (like Webkinz, for example) but I listened and engaged in conversation and before I knew it, they were going deeper. Amazing! One of my daughters even asked my opinion on what she should spend her Webkinz token-thingies on and my initial thought was... I couldn't care less. It's not real money and you're not going to really get anything. It's all virtual!!!!!! At the time I was scrubbing the floor and wished what I was doing was virtual. But somehow, the Lord prompted me to tune into what was important at that moment to my daughter and accept the invitation into her world (virtual and real). It was a sweet time (even though I can't stand Webkinz and make the kids earn every second they spend on there).
I pray that we will continue to tune in and that the Lord will give us insight into our children's hearts so they can grow up to love the Lord with all their hearts!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Skip The Soda
Taken from:
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/drmao/20270/what-soft-drinks-are-doing-to-your-body/
Soda, pop, cola, soft drink — whatever you call it, it is one of the worst beverages that you could be drinking for your health. As the debate for whether to put a tax on the sale of soft drinks continues, you should know how they affect your body so that you can make an informed choice on your own.
Soft drinks are hard on your health:
Soft drinks contain little to no vitamins or other essential nutrients. However, it is what they do contain that is the problem: caffeine, carbonation, simple sugars — or worse, sugar substitutes — and often food additives such as artificial coloring, flavoring, and preservatives.
A lot of research has found that consumption of soft drinks in high quantity, especially by children, is responsible for many health problems that include tooth decay, nutritional depletion, obesity, type-2 diabetes, and heart disease.
Why the sugar in soft drinks isn’t so sweet:
Most soft drinks contain a high amount of simple sugars. The USDA recommendation of sugar consumption for a 2,000-calorie diet is a daily allotment of 10 teaspoons of added sugars. Many soft drinks contain more than this amount!
Just why is too much sugar so unhealthy? Well, to start, let's talk about what happens to you as sugar enters your body. When you drink sodas that are packed with simple sugars, the pancreas is called upon to produce and release insulin, a hormone that empties the sugar in your blood stream into all the tissues and cells for usage. The result of overindulging in simple sugar is raised insulin levels. Raised blood insulin levels beyond the norm can lead to depression of the immune system, which in turn weakens your ability to fight disease.
Something else to consider is that most of the excess sugar ends up being stored as fat in your body, which results in weight gain and elevates risk for heart disease and cancer. One study found that when subjects were given refined sugar, their white blood cell count decreased significantly for several hours afterwards. Another study discovered that rats fed a high-sugar diet had a substantially elevated rate of breast cancer when compared to rats on a regular diet.
The health effects of diet soda:
You may come to the conclusion that diet or sugar-free soda is a better choice. However, one study discovered that drinking one or more soft drinks a day — and it didn’t matter whether it was diet or regular — led to a 30% greater chance of weight gain around the belly.
Diet soda is filled with artificial sweeteners such as aspartame, sucralose, or saccharin. These artificial sweeteners pose a threat to your health. Saccharin, for instance, has been found to be carcinogenic, and studies have found that it produced bladder cancer in rats.
Aspartame, commonly known as nutrasweet, is a chemical that stimulates the brain to think the food is sweet. It breaks down into acpartic acid, phenylalanine, and methanol at a temperature of 86 degrees. (Remember, your stomach is somewhere around 98 degrees.) An article put out by the University of Texas found that aspartame has been linked to obesity. The process of stimulating the brain causes more cravings for sweets and leads to carbohydrate loading.
Carbonation depletes calcium:
Beverages with bubbles contain phosphoric acid, which can severely deplete the blood calcium levels; calcium is a key component of the bone matrix. With less concentration of calcium over a long time, it can lower deposition rates so that bone mass and density suffer. This means that drinking sodas and carbonated water increases your risk of osteoporosis.
Add in the caffeine usually present in soft drinks, and you are in for even more trouble. Caffeine can deplete the body’s calcium, in addition to stimulating your central nervous system and contributing to stress, a racing mind, and insomnia.
Skip the soda and go for:
• Fresh water- Water is a vital beverage for good health. Each and every cell needs water to perform its essential functions. Since studies show that tap water is filled with contaminants, antibiotics, and a number of other unhealthy substances, consider investing in a quality carbon-based filter for your tap water. To find out more about a high-performance filtration system, click here. On the go? Try using a stainless steel thermos or glass bottle, filled with filtered water. Enhance the flavor of your water with a refreshing infusion of basil, mint leaves, and a drop of honey.
• Fruit Juice- If you are a juice drinker, try watering down your juice to cut back on the sugar content. Buy a jar of organic 100% juice, especially cranberry, acai, pomegranate, and then dilute three parts filtered water to one part juice. You will get a subtle sweet taste and the benefit of antioxidants. After a couple of weeks, you will no longer miss the sweetness of sugary concentrated juices.
• Tea- Tea gently lifts your energy and has numerous health benefits. Black, green, white, and oolong teas all contain antioxidant polyphenols. In fact, tea ranks as high or higher than many fruits and vegetables on the ORAC scale, the score that measures antioxidant potential of plant-based foods. Herbal tea does not have the same antioxidant properties, though it is still a great beverage choice with other health benefits, such as inducing calming and relaxing effects. If tea doesn’t satisfy your sweet tooth, try adding cinnamon or a little honey, which has important health benefits that refined sugar lacks.
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/drmao/20270/what-soft-drinks-are-doing-to-your-body/
Soda, pop, cola, soft drink — whatever you call it, it is one of the worst beverages that you could be drinking for your health. As the debate for whether to put a tax on the sale of soft drinks continues, you should know how they affect your body so that you can make an informed choice on your own.
Soft drinks are hard on your health:
Soft drinks contain little to no vitamins or other essential nutrients. However, it is what they do contain that is the problem: caffeine, carbonation, simple sugars — or worse, sugar substitutes — and often food additives such as artificial coloring, flavoring, and preservatives.
A lot of research has found that consumption of soft drinks in high quantity, especially by children, is responsible for many health problems that include tooth decay, nutritional depletion, obesity, type-2 diabetes, and heart disease.
Why the sugar in soft drinks isn’t so sweet:
Most soft drinks contain a high amount of simple sugars. The USDA recommendation of sugar consumption for a 2,000-calorie diet is a daily allotment of 10 teaspoons of added sugars. Many soft drinks contain more than this amount!
Just why is too much sugar so unhealthy? Well, to start, let's talk about what happens to you as sugar enters your body. When you drink sodas that are packed with simple sugars, the pancreas is called upon to produce and release insulin, a hormone that empties the sugar in your blood stream into all the tissues and cells for usage. The result of overindulging in simple sugar is raised insulin levels. Raised blood insulin levels beyond the norm can lead to depression of the immune system, which in turn weakens your ability to fight disease.
Something else to consider is that most of the excess sugar ends up being stored as fat in your body, which results in weight gain and elevates risk for heart disease and cancer. One study found that when subjects were given refined sugar, their white blood cell count decreased significantly for several hours afterwards. Another study discovered that rats fed a high-sugar diet had a substantially elevated rate of breast cancer when compared to rats on a regular diet.
The health effects of diet soda:
You may come to the conclusion that diet or sugar-free soda is a better choice. However, one study discovered that drinking one or more soft drinks a day — and it didn’t matter whether it was diet or regular — led to a 30% greater chance of weight gain around the belly.
Diet soda is filled with artificial sweeteners such as aspartame, sucralose, or saccharin. These artificial sweeteners pose a threat to your health. Saccharin, for instance, has been found to be carcinogenic, and studies have found that it produced bladder cancer in rats.
Aspartame, commonly known as nutrasweet, is a chemical that stimulates the brain to think the food is sweet. It breaks down into acpartic acid, phenylalanine, and methanol at a temperature of 86 degrees. (Remember, your stomach is somewhere around 98 degrees.) An article put out by the University of Texas found that aspartame has been linked to obesity. The process of stimulating the brain causes more cravings for sweets and leads to carbohydrate loading.
Carbonation depletes calcium:
Beverages with bubbles contain phosphoric acid, which can severely deplete the blood calcium levels; calcium is a key component of the bone matrix. With less concentration of calcium over a long time, it can lower deposition rates so that bone mass and density suffer. This means that drinking sodas and carbonated water increases your risk of osteoporosis.
Add in the caffeine usually present in soft drinks, and you are in for even more trouble. Caffeine can deplete the body’s calcium, in addition to stimulating your central nervous system and contributing to stress, a racing mind, and insomnia.
Skip the soda and go for:
• Fresh water- Water is a vital beverage for good health. Each and every cell needs water to perform its essential functions. Since studies show that tap water is filled with contaminants, antibiotics, and a number of other unhealthy substances, consider investing in a quality carbon-based filter for your tap water. To find out more about a high-performance filtration system, click here. On the go? Try using a stainless steel thermos or glass bottle, filled with filtered water. Enhance the flavor of your water with a refreshing infusion of basil, mint leaves, and a drop of honey.
• Fruit Juice- If you are a juice drinker, try watering down your juice to cut back on the sugar content. Buy a jar of organic 100% juice, especially cranberry, acai, pomegranate, and then dilute three parts filtered water to one part juice. You will get a subtle sweet taste and the benefit of antioxidants. After a couple of weeks, you will no longer miss the sweetness of sugary concentrated juices.
• Tea- Tea gently lifts your energy and has numerous health benefits. Black, green, white, and oolong teas all contain antioxidant polyphenols. In fact, tea ranks as high or higher than many fruits and vegetables on the ORAC scale, the score that measures antioxidant potential of plant-based foods. Herbal tea does not have the same antioxidant properties, though it is still a great beverage choice with other health benefits, such as inducing calming and relaxing effects. If tea doesn’t satisfy your sweet tooth, try adding cinnamon or a little honey, which has important health benefits that refined sugar lacks.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Parenting is Heart Work
Beginning tomorrow, Casey and I will be facilitating a parenting class at church and, Lord willing, it will continue on Sunday mornings for 8 weeks. I use the term "facilitate" with intention because we have so much to learn on this parenting journey and are excited about going through the curriculum ourselves. We're just there to start and stop the DVD- ha ha! Anyway, I thought maybe some of you would like to go through it with us so I'm planning on posting a summary every week for you. Hopefully, it will encourage you on this difficult journey, inspire you to seek God's best for your family, and encourage you in all you're doing well. Just a note before I get into this week's session: these are just ideas based on biblical principles.... vehicles to reach a given goal. That said, there are certainly other ways to achieve God's ways. The important thing here is that the Lord has our hearts and that we seek to bring our children's hearts to Him also. If you have other ways than these presented here to do that, go for it. This isn't legalistic- just inspiring. When I set out to read a good book on parenting or attend a conference, I always think, "If I can get even one idea from this that would help our family in some way, then it's worth it." So maybe you won't find everything useful but if you get a few ideas then all is good.
By the way, this is all taken from the Parenting is Heart Work curriculum found at www.biblicalparenting.org:
Session 1:
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
The title of this series gives the idea that not only is parenting is hard work (like we all already know) but it is truly heart work. We must not be focused only on correcting behavior (or stopping bad behavior) but getting to the hearts of our children. " God is interested in hearts because that is where real and lasting change takes place." We can force our children to conform to certain behaviors but no matter how hard we try, we can not change their hearts. That is the heart of this curriculum. Here's something practical based on this heart principle:
Children need to learn to listen and to follow directions. This is so simple when stated but ask moms and dads what frustrates them the most about parenting and many will answer along the lines of... My kids don't listen or I have to tell them over and over again to do something. God expects obedience so we as parents should be instilling that quality into the hearts of our children. The best way to teach children to do anything is to practice the skill before it's needed. We often set up practice times with out children working, in a fun way, on everything from how to answer the phone to how to greet someone who is talking to you. Setting up informal practice sessions with our children will be worth it a thousand times over when they get into a real situation and immediately know how to respond. The nuts and bolts of listening and following directions begins with...
1. Have the child in close proximity to you. I can't stand yelling across the house and so I rarely give a command that way. I call the children and they have been taught to answer and come; not answer and stay where they are. They don't yell back, "What?" because then the ball is in my court to tell them what I need, all while yelling down the hall. No thanks! We call, they should come. We've practiced this in many ways but what I think has worked the best is having a handful of gummies or chocolate chips waiting for whoever comes when I call. I usually give double to whoever makes it to me first. We practice this way when I don't really need them and we all have fun. Then when I really need them, they come. And they never know what might be waiting for them when they do come:)
2. Give the instruction and expect an answer. Being from the south, I always expect a yes ma'am when I give an instruction but I know not everyone says that. 'Sure thing' or 'Yes, Mom' works too. But what's amazing is that when they respond to you face to face it's like magic- they've committed and they're much more likely to carry through with the instruction when they've given you a polite and respectful response. Again, this should be practiced. I usually gather the children in the room and give a combination of silly and serious instructions and the children are expected to respond cheerfully and then carry out the command. For example, I might tell one child to spin around ten times. They say "yes, ma'am" and do it. While they're doing that, I tell another to go put their pile of clothes away and expect the same joyful response followed by immediate obedience. I do this enough times that everyone gets mostly silly commands with a few serious ones thrown in the mix. They love it!
3. The child needs to report back to you. After watching the first DVD, Casey and I both realized that this is where we were lacking. We would sometimes tell a child to do something and they would do it and then go off to play. Sometimes we would later find that they hadn't done the job completely so now we've taken the time to teach them to report back to us. We have taught our crew to come back and let us know they're done and then to ask if there's anything else they can do. It is such a pleasure to hear them ask that and when taught and done in the right heart, they seem to enjoy it too. Before we release them or give them another task, we should also inspect the job right away to make sure that it was done correctly. Inspect what you expect.
So that's basically it for the first week. I hope you've found something useful in this- I know we did! We've been so pleased with the results since we've gone back to making sure the children check in with us when they're done with their job. Again, this may not look exactly the same in your home but what's important is that you examine the heart of this lesson (teaching children to obey, to be respectful, to be diligent, etc...) and see how you're doing working those traits into your children. If our children can't hear our voice and obey simple commands, how will they ever hear and obey the Lord when He asks them to do big things like he did with Abraham and Isaac?
By the way, this is all taken from the Parenting is Heart Work curriculum found at www.biblicalparenting.org:
Session 1:
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
The title of this series gives the idea that not only is parenting is hard work (like we all already know) but it is truly heart work. We must not be focused only on correcting behavior (or stopping bad behavior) but getting to the hearts of our children. " God is interested in hearts because that is where real and lasting change takes place." We can force our children to conform to certain behaviors but no matter how hard we try, we can not change their hearts. That is the heart of this curriculum. Here's something practical based on this heart principle:
Children need to learn to listen and to follow directions. This is so simple when stated but ask moms and dads what frustrates them the most about parenting and many will answer along the lines of... My kids don't listen or I have to tell them over and over again to do something. God expects obedience so we as parents should be instilling that quality into the hearts of our children. The best way to teach children to do anything is to practice the skill before it's needed. We often set up practice times with out children working, in a fun way, on everything from how to answer the phone to how to greet someone who is talking to you. Setting up informal practice sessions with our children will be worth it a thousand times over when they get into a real situation and immediately know how to respond. The nuts and bolts of listening and following directions begins with...
1. Have the child in close proximity to you. I can't stand yelling across the house and so I rarely give a command that way. I call the children and they have been taught to answer and come; not answer and stay where they are. They don't yell back, "What?" because then the ball is in my court to tell them what I need, all while yelling down the hall. No thanks! We call, they should come. We've practiced this in many ways but what I think has worked the best is having a handful of gummies or chocolate chips waiting for whoever comes when I call. I usually give double to whoever makes it to me first. We practice this way when I don't really need them and we all have fun. Then when I really need them, they come. And they never know what might be waiting for them when they do come:)
2. Give the instruction and expect an answer. Being from the south, I always expect a yes ma'am when I give an instruction but I know not everyone says that. 'Sure thing' or 'Yes, Mom' works too. But what's amazing is that when they respond to you face to face it's like magic- they've committed and they're much more likely to carry through with the instruction when they've given you a polite and respectful response. Again, this should be practiced. I usually gather the children in the room and give a combination of silly and serious instructions and the children are expected to respond cheerfully and then carry out the command. For example, I might tell one child to spin around ten times. They say "yes, ma'am" and do it. While they're doing that, I tell another to go put their pile of clothes away and expect the same joyful response followed by immediate obedience. I do this enough times that everyone gets mostly silly commands with a few serious ones thrown in the mix. They love it!
3. The child needs to report back to you. After watching the first DVD, Casey and I both realized that this is where we were lacking. We would sometimes tell a child to do something and they would do it and then go off to play. Sometimes we would later find that they hadn't done the job completely so now we've taken the time to teach them to report back to us. We have taught our crew to come back and let us know they're done and then to ask if there's anything else they can do. It is such a pleasure to hear them ask that and when taught and done in the right heart, they seem to enjoy it too. Before we release them or give them another task, we should also inspect the job right away to make sure that it was done correctly. Inspect what you expect.
So that's basically it for the first week. I hope you've found something useful in this- I know we did! We've been so pleased with the results since we've gone back to making sure the children check in with us when they're done with their job. Again, this may not look exactly the same in your home but what's important is that you examine the heart of this lesson (teaching children to obey, to be respectful, to be diligent, etc...) and see how you're doing working those traits into your children. If our children can't hear our voice and obey simple commands, how will they ever hear and obey the Lord when He asks them to do big things like he did with Abraham and Isaac?
Friday, November 6, 2009
Ultrasound!
Well, we had our ultrasound today and found out we're having a....... BABY!!!
Yes, there is a perfectly formed baby growing inside of me and it was awesome to see. That little miracle was moving around so much but was also very cooperative and gave us some great shots. The kids and Daddy were all crammed in the room and we were all equally amazed at our newest little family member. The sonogram was the clearest that I ever remember having (I think this was my 15th ultrasound). Everything measured perfectly to date on our little bundle and now we only have 19 weeks to see him/her again "in living color". Oh, I can't wait!
P.S. I tried and tried and tried but could not get an ultrasound picture on here. We've had some computer issues so I'll try again another time.
Yes, there is a perfectly formed baby growing inside of me and it was awesome to see. That little miracle was moving around so much but was also very cooperative and gave us some great shots. The kids and Daddy were all crammed in the room and we were all equally amazed at our newest little family member. The sonogram was the clearest that I ever remember having (I think this was my 15th ultrasound). Everything measured perfectly to date on our little bundle and now we only have 19 weeks to see him/her again "in living color". Oh, I can't wait!
P.S. I tried and tried and tried but could not get an ultrasound picture on here. We've had some computer issues so I'll try again another time.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Blessing #4 saved up her own money so she could go to gymnastics. She's already working on saving for her next month. She's constantly doing gymnastics at home, so when she finally started classes, all the other parents thought she'd been going since she was 2! We think she's pretty good at it... especially for a 6 year-old:) Check out this video of her at her class last week (only her third time going). She's going to the civic center for classes so it's very laid back and non-competitive.
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